Animal Jokes

What did the bee say to the naughty bee?
Bee-hive yourself!

Why was the centipede late?
Because she was playing This little Piggy with her baby brother!

Why did the spider buy a car?
So he could take it out for a spin!

Where do fish wash?
In a river basin!

Where do little fishes go every morning?
To plaice school!

Where do frogs keep their money?
In a river bank!

What do you say if you meet a toad?
”Wart's new?”

What do snakes write at the bottom of their letters?
With Love and Hisses!

What kind of snake is useful on your car windscreen?
A viper!

What do you call a woodpecker with no beak?
A headbanger!

How does a bird with broken wings manage to land safely?
With its sparrowchute!

What happened when the tiger ate the comedian?
She felt funny!

What did the lion say to his cubs when he taught them to hunt?
”Don't go over the road till you see the zebra crossing.”

What is a gorilla’s favourite Christmas song?
Jungle Bells!